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[Originally posted at Amazon.com on 2005, July 18.]
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THE BEST OF RALPH MARTERIE: The Mercury Years
Ralph Marterie
released: 1996
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Ralph Marterie is one of those musicians / arrangers who have been largely and unjustly forgotten by the public. In Marterie's case, I think it can be partially attributed to the time period in which most of his best known music was cut.
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The 25 tracks collected here span the years 1951 through 1958, with most of them falling into the first half of that decade. This puts him right on the cusp where the dog days of the Big Band Swing era had significantly given way to Rock 'N' Roll's infancy. You can hear that transition occurring in many of Marterie's numbers. And it makes for some interesting listening.
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Due to some imaginative playing from myriad instruments that swing easily, much of this material manages to present the illusion of an improvisational approach confined within tightly arranged structures (only one track makes it all the way to the three minute mark). But there's plenty here that should be appreciated by both Jazz fans and early Rock 'N' Roll devotees. Marterie's sound is unique in that he combines Swing components (trumpet and multiple saxophones) with classical instrumentation (strings) and also employs a front and center electric guitar at times. And he occasionally pulls it all together over drumming that exhibits a nearly R&B rhythmic style. (Of course, as Rock 'N' Roll took shape, the strings would get the heave-ho, the reeds would be pared down to a single sax, and the guitar would gain prominence.) It was that pronounced beat on several numbers (CARAVAN; SKOKIAAN; DRY MARTERIE; IN A PERSIAN MARKET; and TRICKY) that undoubtedly endeared Marterie to my Mom and others from her generation who stayed in shape via the dance floor.
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This is not to say that everything on THE BEST OF RALPH MARTERIE falls into this upbeat, danceable category. There is also some "sweet" Swing; some Harry James-like trumpet workouts; a few melancholic, sentimental ballads; and a couple of feisty, baritone sax rumblers. All in all, a nice mix of some good stuffs. I don't play this album often, but every time I do, I wind up asking myself why I don't.
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It occurs to me that it's been quite a few reviews since I've poked fun at Arizonans. So, if you'll indulge me here - although it's entirely irrelevant to this review - I'd like to correct that oversight now:
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I kid you not, these folks is D-U-U-U-MB! Case in point: The day before yesterday, I was driving to a wide spot in the road called Rock Springs to pick up some pies. A lady up there is famous for her pies (we like the Tennessee Lemon and the Jack Daniels Pecan) which they advertise as being "WORTH THE DRIVE FROM ANYWHERE." This was probably true before gas went above $2. a gallon, but if you hail from East of the muddy Mississippi, you may want to settle for something baked closer to home. But I digress from my digression...
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So, I'm going North out of Phoenix on I-17 when traffic slows to a crawl. For a couple of miles I'm constantly shifting back and forth between 2nd and 3rd gears, and expecting to find a brush fire or an accident up ahead. But no, the disturbance was caused by an electronic highway sign stating, "Extreme Fire Conditions - See www.azfireprevention.com" or some such nonsense. The Airheadzonans were slowing down to read this sign (visible for more than half of a mile) with its earthshaking news. Well, duh! It's July and we live in the middle of a desert where it's only 114 degrees in the shade every day!
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I'm convinced that when I moved to Airheadzona, the state's collective I.Q. was doubled. And keep in mind that I ain't none too bright my-damn-self! (I mean, I DID move here, didn't I?) I'm sure that my anti-Arizona comments are responsible for some of my "Unhelpful" votes, but if they think that's going to stop me, then they're just plain... well... you know.
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Thanks for tolerating my tangent, and enjoy the tunes!
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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RAISING ARIZONA
directed by: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
released: 1987
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Now, don’t y'all get me wrong, I enjoys me an offbeat comedy as much as the next person. Heck, I myself am as “offbeat” as it gets this side o’ the cuckoo’s nest. And, yeah, I chuckled two, maybe three times during the course of this 90-minute movie. But that ain’t a good laughs-to-minutes ratio, boys ‘n’ girls. Problem is, I prefer my offbeat comedies to be funny. ...Yeah, I’m funny that way.
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I s’pose I can see why some o' the people of Airheadzona might think this is a great comedy. After all, Airheadzona's collective I.Q. rating is commensurate with its average temperature during the dog days of Summer. But what excuse does the rest o’ yous have?
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Not to worry - I’m a-gonna buy each and every one o’ yous a REAL, fully-developed Sense O’Humor for Christmas this year. (Provided The Comedy Store has ‘em on sale. I doesn't like to pay me full price!)
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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PARLIAMENT OF WHORES
by P.J. O'Rourke
published: 1991
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“It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.”
~ P.J. O’Rourke
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Once upon a time, oh, about a year ago, I was on the john, with my P.J. bottoms loitering around my ankles, and minding my own “business.” I had one of my Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers in my lap (Uncle John and the john were just made for each other) and I was reading a page that contained a lot of funny remarks related to politics. I noticed that the several excerpts that had been penned by one P.J. O’ROURKE elicited the greatest laughs from me, so I determined to find out just who this P.J. was and where he’d been my whole life. After a little Ammyland surfing, I purchased his book PARLIAMENT OF WHORES.
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Just last week, I was on an America West flight to Northern Nevada. At the airport, after taking everything from me that one could never commandeer an airplane with, and making me remove my belt and shoes and self-respect, the powers that be somehow let me waltz onto the plane with PARLIAMENT OF WHORES -- a very dangerous book. I mean, had I begun reading aloud, I could have convulsed the pilots, the flight crew, and the air marshal with laughter and taken control of Flight #522.
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Instead, I read silently to myself, and laughed out loud every thirty seconds or so. This aroused the curiosity of the woman sitting next to me who asked what I was reading. I said, “Parliament Of Whores by P.J. O’Rourke” but somehow what she heard was, “Will you tell me your life story?” So she proceeded to tell me how she had gotten married at Lake Tahoe and bred dogs for a living. Or maybe it was that she earned her bread at Lake Tahoe and had married a dog. To be honest, I wasn’t paying that much attention, but merely trying to nod and smile when I thought it was appropriate, and stealing another sentence or two from O’Rourke’s book every time she paused between chapters in her oral autobiography. (She did offer me her little bag of pretzels, so at least I got something from her besides an earache.)
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PALIAMENT OF WHORES is P.J.’s 1991 account of a journalist’s inside look at politics and how it affects American Life. And trust me, it’s no laughing matter, which is exactly why we must laught at it. It’s laugh or go postal, but since the postal service is tied to the federal government, it’s better that we laugh.
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P.J. says, “I have tried to present a factual – data-filled, at any rate – account of how this government works. Which is complicated by the fact that it doesn’t.” But if you think a journalist should instead be writing about things that are more relevant and of greater interest to most Americans, P.J. did promise in the Acknowledgments that his next book was going to be about “Madonna’s Illegitimate UFO Diet To Cure AIDS And Find Elvis.”
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On page 103, O’Rourke confesses that he is “a real Republican” but then adds, “unlike some current presidents of the United States I could name.” That unnamed “presidents” he referred to was, of course, George H. W. Bush. Now it’s his equally un-Republican son, George W. Bush, who occupies The White House, proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the Bush.
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But don’t let the fact that P.J. is a Republican dissuade you from reading PARLIAMENT OF WHORES if you happen to be a Democrat because Ol’ P.J. absolutely grills EVERYONE in this laugh-out-loud book. And why not? The federal government has taken it upon itself to warn the nation that undercooked eggs and meat are unhealthy. And is raw government any better for us? It too deserves a good grilling, and P.J. is just the chef to do it!
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Now, I can’t say that P.J. never misses the nail’s head and hits his own thumb. For example, on page 78 he states that the Supreme Court opening a session with “God save the United States and this Honorable Court” is a clear violation of the First Amendment to the Constitution. This is surprisingly sloppy reporting coming from a man who makes his living with words. The First Amendment says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” And that’s what the Constitution, in its entirety, has to say about religion. So, when did the Supreme Court become Congress? And since when is stating, “God save the United States and this Honorable Court” the establishment of a law? (And has anybody informed God that He is now bound by law to do these things?)
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On page 119, P.J. questions the wisdom of the illegality of recreational drugs. I think keeping these chemicals out of the hands (and arms, and lungs) of as many people as possible is indeed wise. The only exception being those funny smelling “cigarettes” which my buddy at work, The Great L.C., and I agree should be treated in like manner as alcohol, for they have, if anything, even less potential for harm: Put 10 guys into a room with loud music and bottles and bottles of booze, and it’s a sure bet that before the evening is over, one (or more) of those guys will get roughed up. But put the same 10 guys into the same room with the same loud music, and replace the booze with “wacky weed” and the only things that are gonna get roughed up are bags of potato chips.
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But other than these rare disagreements, I found PALIAMENT OF WHORES to be wickedly accurate and whorribly humorous. Wait’ll you read the suggestions the author makes for reducing federal expenditures ('O’Rourke’s Circumcision and Budget Liposuction'), and the way he dissects the Special Interest Groups ('The Original Barrel Of Monkeys That Nothing Is More Fun Than'). This thing is simply a howl from one end to the other; the funniest book I’ve read in a very long time. Heck, one of the funniest books I’ve ever read at ANY time! It’s “seriously funny” like Mark Twain. And I am no more ashamed to have PARLIAMENT OF WHORES standing in my bookcase between The Declaration Of Independence and 'The Heritage Guide To The Constitution' than I am to have Twain’s 'ROUGHING IT' standing between 'Saloons Of The Old West' and 'I Married Wyatt Earp'. Aw, well, you know what I mean.
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In the final analysis – after his study of how our government works [sic] – O’Rourke concludes that what we suspected all along is true: “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” Nevertheless, watching P.J. T.P. the U.S. is the best cry you’ll ever laugh. I’ll be voting P.J. for President in 2008, even though he’s too smart to run... except away.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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