THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC OF JOHNNY MATHIS: A Personal Collection
by Johnny Mathis
released: 1993
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Thanks to the magic of modern communications, I am able to share with you this letter I recently received from Santa Claus. I copied and pasted it below for your perusal.
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Deer Stephen:
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I thank you for the kind letter and many compliments. To allay your fears: no, I do not suspect you of "kissing up" to me (as you so delicately phrased it).
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I have looked over your Christmas Wish List and regret to inform you that we have never made those types of... uh... things up here at my workshop. You'll need to seek out another source. We're a little more "family" oriented, don't you know-ho-ho?
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I can, however, happily fulfill your request for my most highy recommended Holiday music. I'll be brief beclaus -- I mean, because -- this is my busy time of year, what with overseeing the work at the elves toy factory and coal mine, and with the Missus constantly shoving food at me and nagging that I should "Eat! Eat!" No one wants to see a skinny Santa, or so she says.
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Mrs. Claus and I have always been partial to the JOHNNY MATHIS renditions of most Christmas standards. The Missus says they're, "Wonderful! Wonderful!" And though It's Not For Me To Say, Chances Are you'll enjoy them, too. Little Johnny's voice is a "gift" that originates from regions even higher than the North Pole!
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THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC OF JOHNNY MATHIS: A Personal Collection is a readily available single-disc compilation of songs personally selected by Johnny from his previously released Christmas albums.
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There are a few songs that were regrettably overlooked, most notably, his emotionally stirring O HOLY NIGHT from his first release, 'MERRY CHRISTMAS'. Leaving that off nearly landed Johnny on my "Bad Boys" list! And there's no I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, nor THE CHRISTMAS SONG. That's ho-ho-horrible!
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Missing from the album 'FOR CHRISTMAS', is Johnny's spirited, JINGLE BELL ROCK. Also, GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN which, while too slow, concludes with two indescribably joyful notes!
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I think we can both agree that JINGLE BELLS is overrated beclaus -- I mean, because -- it is too simplistic and has been played to death. But Stephen, did you ever hear Johnny's version from 'CHRISTMAS EVE WITH JOHNNY MATHIS'? It's even superior to the rendition that the Jingle Dogs barked out many moons ago! It has a marvelously updated arrangement that makes me want to stuff the Missus into the sleigh and go for a Winter ride. Alas, we can't BOTH fit into the thing side-by-side anymore. But then JINGLE BELLS isn't included on this disc either.
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To really do Johnny's Christmas music justice, this should have been conceived as a two-disc set. Nevertheless, what IS included is truly classic Holiday music that's been widely celebrated and publicly played since you were nose-high to an elf. We deerly love it up here at "The Pole". Of course, the elves don't pay much attention to it; they're forever singing their nerve-racking elf songs, but my reindeer team just can't get enough of it -- especially Rudolph! you should see his
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You really should own all of Johnny's Christmas music, but if you're inclined to buy just one Christmas music CD, this disc is the way to go-ho-ho.
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Well, I'd better close now beCAUSE we're way behind schedule as it is, and I've got trouble brewing over at the toy shop: two elves recently got caught sniffing snow; one elf ran off to become Denver's most diminutive dentist; another one has a ribbon fetish; and yet another is in therapy because she insists that she's a reindeer; and the whole lot of them are threatening to unionize! ...Yeah, ol' Santa's got his troubles, too.
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I hope this letter has been some help to you.
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Stephen, be a good boy between now and December 24th and perhaps you won't be unwrapping another lump of coal this year. (It hurts me too, Stephen.)
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~ Saint Nicholas
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P.S. -- Please don't forget to leave some milk and cookies this time. A diabetic man gets hungry flying around the world in one night, and Mrs. Claus says that I must "Eat! Eat!"
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See, now this is a very well-written fun review. It makes me want to like Johnny Mathis. Sadly, it does not succeed, it gave the ol' college try. I am only dimly realizing just how much of a musical disappointment my tastes must be to you! Every one of your very favorites, I have complained about as my LEAST favorites... and I've said so BEFORE learning of your opinion about them.
ReplyDeleteMathis, Karen Carpenter, Willie Nelson are among those artists I have almost zero affinity for.
But at least your letter from Santa here makes me really, really WANT to like Mathis.
Well, McITCHYFINGER, even if you don't like the singing of Johnny Mathis, and even if it does keep you out of Heaven when Judgment Day arrives, at least you WANT to like it. Hopefully that alone will be enough to send you just to purgatory rather than hell. And I'll certainly appear as a character witness at your Big Trial In The Sky.
DeleteOK, seriously, thanks for the compliment. Glad you enjoyed the review.
Willie has such a distinctive AND nasal voice that I can understand why some people (you included) don't like his singing. There's a very hard to describe quality about Willie's singing which is what makes it appealing to me. It's a very understated, natural, almost confessional and conversational quality. More than any other singer I can think of, when I hear Willie, it seems like he's performing specifically for me. Also, there is some indefinable melancholic spirit in Willie's voice that I resonate to. I'll agree, however, that based solely on the sound quality of his voice, Willie Nelson is essentially the Bob Dylan of Country music.
How ANYONE could not love Karen's voice is simply beyond me and I'll not even attempt to understand that.
But, to be fair, this isn't entirely on you. It is, after all, a two-way street. There are performers that you are crazy about whom I either dislike or feel totally apathetic about. For instance, Green Day in the former category and The Killers in the latter. Green Day, I actually have an inner violent reaction to their stuffs which makes me just want to beat the stuffing out of them. And I'm NOT really naturally inclined toward violence.
Oh, well, THE GREAT MUSICAL DIVIDE -- that's a really great name you gave to this phenomena.
Thank God for Tom Petty and Louis Prima. (I don't suppose there's any chance you like Steely Dan, is there?)
~ D-FensDogG
See... 'It's A Wonderful Life' Come To Life
Hmmmmm. I'm not sure that your testimony as a character witness will really help me much at the trial. No... upon reflection, THANKS for the offer but I'll take my chances with my current lineup to testify as to my fitness for heaven: Kevin Spacey (banking on the premise that God MUST have liked the movie "Superman Returns," Michael Medved (in case God turns out to be Jewish,) and Congressman Hank Johnson. I am sure God is as concerned about the island of Guam as Hank is.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the fact that I am very fond of Steely Dan will help me out with the Lord our Maker. I went to a Dan concert WAY back in 74 that featured TWO drummers: Jim Hodder and Jeff Porcaro. Made the hair stand up on the back of my neck!
>>... I'll take my chances with my current lineup... Kevin Spacey, Michael Medved
Delete"THE USUAL SUSPECTS", eh?
Ha! OK, well, I offered. Just as well, though, as I'll probably be busy testifying against Bruce Springsteen, anyway.
Sounds like a great concert! And STEELY DAN makes another brick in the... bridge! (I kinda thought our mutual love of Jazz might make a brick out of The Dan.)
So, now we've got Tom, Dan & Louis -- The Holy Affinity.
~ D-FensDogG
See... 'It's A Wonderful Life' Come To Life