[I originally published this online on December 4, 2005.]
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FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS I WORKED AS A VOLUNTEER CORRESPONDENT FOR A RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION'S "PRISON OUTREACH PROGRAM". IT PUT ME IN CONTACT WITH MANY PEOPLE INCARCERATED AROUND THE COUNTRY. THE STRONGEST RELATIONSHIP THAT I DEVELOPED WAS WITH A YOUNG MAN -- I WILL CALL HIM "FRED" -- WHO WAS IN A FLORIDA PRISON. I HAPPENED TO MENTION IN A LETTER THAT 'IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE' WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES. HE ANSWERED THAT THE MOVIE HAS A GREAT EMOTIONAL IMPACT ON HIM BECAUSE OF AN INCIDENT THAT HAD ACTUALLY TAKEN PLACE SOME YEARS EARLIER.
I'VE CHANGED ALL OF THE NAMES BECAUSE IT WAS PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE AND I NEVER REQUESTED PERMISSION TO REVEAL HIS IDENTITY, BUT HERE IS AN EXCERPT FROM "FRED'S" DECEMBER 4, 1999 LETTER RELATING THE DETAILS TO ME:
"Jim West (my grandfather) passed away in October of 1990 and as it was, I was already 'off the chain' and headed for serious problems. I was 17 at the time and I remember clearly standing at the wake, shaking hands with too many people, dressed in a suit with combat boots (my punk rocker days), stoned out of mind and reason. My best friend Katy was with me and though she and I were no longer intimate, I was more interested in getting away from that dreadful funeral to be with her and my friends.
"Anyhow, Christmas of 1990 was miserable. I lasted about an hour and finally took off in a rage, unable to cope with all of my aunts, my mom and grandmom, and other family members' tears and emotional misery. Looking back I realize they were dealing with his death as best they knew how and it is healthy to grieve and not stuff feelings. My solution was to get wasted.
"Christmas 1991 was even worse for me. I had recently had my first major run in with the law and was out on bond. I was living with my mom and step-dad at the time because my grandmother was too afraid of me. Mom and Rob are both alcoholics and drug abusers and though one might think this would make us compatable [sic], it actually only complicated matters.
"That Christmas Eve, they came home from a party in quite a state and my step-dad in a drunken rage picked a fight with me and threw me out. It was ugly. He smashed my T.V. through the window and threw me a bag of dog-food saying I might need it when I got hungry. I had my own car and left with the few things I could grab. I went to my grandma's and although she was reluctant to let me stay, she let me spend the night. The next morning she went to Mom's for X-mas and though she tried to convince me to go with her, pride over the night before would not allow me to do it. I ended up doing my usual: drinking like a madman and smoking out. I was driving around town, drunk and out of my mind, swimming in self-pity and decided I was going to end it all, take my own life. I hit the interstate and headed for the big bridge I would jump from.
"Then the miracle happened. On the other side of the bridge is a rest area where I intended to park my car and as I pulled in, parked, and drank some more, I noticed one other car in the rest area and I noticed someone slumped over the wheel of the car. Curiosity filled me, and a sense of urgency and I got out and walked to the car. Slumped over the wheel was a very old woman who I could tell was crying. She cracked her window as I motioned to her and I asked her if she was okay and could I help her somehow.
"She looked frightened (no wonder in the state I was in) but began to explain to me that she was from Tallahassee and had driven over to be with her daughter for Christmas. She had been lost for hours and was confused and at wits end and not even knowing where she was now or what direction to go. She told me where her daughter lived and I happened to know where it was. I offered to show her the way and she followed me. When we passed her daughter's apartment complex, she did not pull in but flashed me and we pulled into a small nearby store.
"At this point, she tried to offer me twenty dollars. I refused. She told me that when she was a little girl the world was a kind place but in her 70 years it had become ugly and she had believed there were no miracles left. She told me I changed her mind, the world was still full of miracles. She hugged me. She wished me a Merry Christmas. She got in her car and drove away. I sat down on the curb and bawled like a baby.
"I don't know if you believe in angels but I do. She was an angel, whether an angel in humanity or an actual celestial being, but the real miracle was that whether she knew it or not, she saved my life. The miracle was hers and she gave it to me.
"I decided at that point to go to my other grandmother's house. I ended up having a Christmas I will never forget. Oh, as I was driving to Granny's for Christmas, there was a $100 bill in my pocket that was not there before. I guess the old woman stuck it in there when she hugged me. God bless her wherever she is! (Just an aside...I noticed that you mentioned It's A Wonderful Life in your last letter. I love that movie. Do you see any similarity in it and my story?)
"Merry Christmas and may the Light of Christ shine on you always.
Romans 8:28. --Brother Fred"
I THINK THAT FRED'S EXPERIENCE IS ONE OF THE MOST "WONDERFUL" TRUE CHRISTMAS STORIES I HAVE EVER HEARD. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, TOO.
BLESS AND BE BLESSED!
~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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