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THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW:
Floyd's Hair-Raising Adventures
VHS tape released 1992
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Somewhere in the heart of Dixie, yonder in the South
There's a small place called Mount Airy
But as living mythology embraced in my mind
It goes by the name Mayberry
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Her favorite citizens enter into my house
Slipping in by way of TV
And in just thirty short minutes they lighten my life
And they teach my heart how to see
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There's the round Mayor Pike and the round drunken Otis
Sheriff Taylor and Barney Fife
Who at five feet seven, a hundred thirty-eight pounds
Is built like a thin-bladed knife
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Of course there's Goober, Gomer and the sweet Thelma Lou
and the ever-cooking Aunt Bee
There's Helen and Howard and don't forget Opie and
With the first whistled notes, there's me!
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Only a few doors down Main Street from Andy's courthouse
You'll come to a famous "clip joint"
This small shop is the business of barber Floyd Lawson
And this brings me now to the point
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Floyd is a fair barber and a right nervous fellow
In his shop the men come to sit
They get hair cuts, play checkers, and tell their Fish Tales
Or just "loaf", as Opie calls it
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In this tape's Episode One, Floyd's dream is realized
A shop with "two chairs -- no waiting"
But unbeknownst to him the new man is a bookie
Just barber-impersonating
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When Barney goes undercover as an old lady
He breaks up the gambling ring
And Floyd Lawson with his dream handcuffed and arrested
Goes back to one-chair barbering
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In Episode Two, while writing to a rich widow
Floyd is really stretching the truth
Claiming to be a man of business enterprises
and also a little more youth
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But being a "prince of a fellow", Andy steps in
And he helps Floyd to save the day
But only to find that with his very next letter
Floyd has once again gone astray
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In searching old files Deputy Fife discovers
The case of a punch in the nose
And reopening old wounds between Floyd and Foley
Soon the town is coming to blows
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The Sheriff is able to repair the strained friendship
And a Mayberry riot avoid
And in the final scene we see One-Bullet Barney
Fork over a nickel to Floyd
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Here's my favorite sitcom and it always has been
Ain't an episode I don't know
I'd say two of the three episodes presented here
Represent the best of the show
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I would place 'The Deceiver' and a 'Punch In The Nose'
Right firmly in my own Top Ten
I own Hair-Raising Adventures on videotape
And watch it again and again!
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This collection is worth every Star that I gave it
It's better than gold or a dog
I'd rather have it than seventeen supermodels
or a lifetime supply of grog
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Don't you call me a liar and dispute what I say
Or although I'm just Stephen T.
I'll pick up a rock and heave it right through your window
Just as though I were Ernest T.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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[NOTE: This review applies to the 1997 VHS tape boxed set. In 2010, 'On The Road' was released on DVD -- three separate 3-disc sets -- greatly expanded and re-formatted from the tapes described below. I most highly recommend it!]
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THE BEST OF 'ON THE ROAD WITH CHARLES KURALT'
Charles Kuralt
1997
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Charles Kuralt was the poet of small town America the way Vin Scully was the poet of Dodger Stadium. Relaxed, warm, folksy and deceptively insightful. He had a way of setting you at ease and somehow convincing you that the entire cosmos could be found in the minutia of this one fleeting moment. His beloved little program, 'ON THE ROAD' (1967-80) in which he traveled the backroads of America in a motor home to show us the real heart of the country was eagerly anticipated by countless people every weekend -- myself included.
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Once every couple of years, when I need a little lift, I get out my boxed set of THE BEST OF 'ON THE ROAD WITH CHARLES KURALT' and pop in one of the three 60 minute tapes. I invariably end up watching all three in one sitting. It's as if once I'm on the road, I can't quite convince myself to pull into a rest stop. Just a few days ago I created a new Amazon Listmania List called, 'EXPLORE THE U.S.A.' in which I included this set. And then I felt inspired to view the tapes again, and decided to review them since currently only two other people have.
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Tape 1 - THE AMERICAN HERITAGE: We start out at the beginning (always a good place to start) when Kuralt takes us to the roaring wind-swept dunes on Roanoke Island, North Carolina and the site that John White and the early English settlers of 1587 decided to call "Home." We see where they lived and ponder the great mystery of their disappearance.
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Then it's off to Independence Hall in Philadelphia where independence from England was first declared, and where the U.S. Constitution was later hammered out. Kuralt relives those tumultuous times and his sense of awe and admiration is evident. "There were great men in those days. Never from that time to this has so much greatness crowded onto the American stage", he informs us. I for one, agree with him. But then Kuralt nominates his choice for "greatest" and takes us to Monticello, the stately residence of Thomas Jefferson and shows us the very bed that Jefferson passed away on one Fourth of July!
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Then we go "on the road" again to the survey site of the 1803 Louisiana Purchase. It's funny to hear Kuralt close the segment with the statement that "the French don't talk about it much". In The American Heritage we also get to visit Wyoming's "Register Cliff" on the Oregon Trail; the place of Custer's Last Stand at Little Bighorn, Montana; the old Spanish Missions of California; horseback cowboys in Texas; Dearborn, Michigan and the Henry Ford museum; Tuskegee University and the inspiring story of Booker T. Washington and George Washington Carver; and then to the annual Town Meeting in tiny Stamford, Vermont where pure Democracy is practiced.
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Kuralt closes tape one with the comment: "All these places that we have visited are waiting for you to visit them, too. You'll feel prouder of the country afterwards. We do."
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Most of these segments were originally filmed for television in the 1970's and so the picture clarity is not all that we've come to expect, and once or twice a trace of political correctness may seep in (after all, this was a CBS-sponsored program), but these are small prices to pay for such richness that can be enjoyed again and again.
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Tape 2 - SEASONS OF AMERICA: This time we go on the road with Charles Kuralt to experience the seasons. In Spring it's the "romance" of tapping maple syrup from trees in Vermont; harvesting daffodils in Virginia; at Appomattox Courthouse, where Lee surrendered to Grant, we find the blooming of the pink and white Dogwood's and learn that this is "the most American of trees being native to 40 of our states and native nowhere else on Earth"; then there's the indescribably heartwarming story of the old man of Surry County, Virginia and his 13 acre garden planted simply for the pleasure of others, and the surprising twist at the story's conclusion.
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In Summer we go tubing on a river in Wisconsin; we participate in the funny, but heartfelt 4th of July activities in the small towns of the Midwest, and in the Tom Sawyer Days celebration in Mark Twain's, Hannibal, Missouri. It just doesn't get more "American" than this.
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Autumn finds us in Pacific Grove, California for the mysterious butterfly migration; Colorado Springs for the pumpkin harvesting by countless school kids at the Venetucci Brothers farm; and of course, Kuralt takes us to New England for the "shower of scarlet, lemon and gold leaves" and wood pile constructing in preparation for Winter.
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In Winter, the horse, "Babe", takes us for a ride in an 1890 sleigh in Connecticut; in Miller's Mills, New York, we follow the honored tradition of generations past in cutting and storing pond ice for next July's ice cream social; and we finish the year with the inspiring story of the miraculous Juniper tree in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and its yearly Christmas message to everyone "on the road."
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Tape 3 - UNFORGETTABLE PEOPLE: Kuralt introduces us to many types of people here, like Bill Patch, who converted his old Nash Rambler to run on corn cobs -- gets 3 miles to the bushel. With the price of gas, I'm ready to buy one! But my favorites were from the Carolinas: Jethro Mann, an old Black man in Belmont, North Carolina, and Agatha Burgess, an old white woman in Buffalo, South Carolina. Mann, entirely at his own expense, restores old bicycles and loans them out daily to the poor kids in town so that they can all experience the pleasure of having a bike and being on the road. Burgess spends all day, every day, cooking in her small kitchen so that anybody who wants to, can have a hot home-cooked meal at a nominal price, and eat it in her own home. It's what she wants to do, and she tells us that she always gets what she wants. And then she sagely adds, "But I know what to want."
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And then there's the wonderful story of the formerly dirt-poor and cotton-picking Chandler family of Mississippi. There's parents Alex and Mary, and their nine children, all who helped one another to graduate from college. We join them for their Thanksgiving celebration and watch as they are all reduced to tears in thanking God for His goodness.
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THE BEST OF 'ON THE ROAD WITH CHARLES KURALT' is a great set. It should be enjoyed by any viewer, and I think it would make an excellent addition to a homeschooler's library. If you can watch all 3 of these tapes and never once feel the moisture of joy welling up a little in your eyes, then there is simply no warmth left in you. This doesn't just mean that you're dead, of course, but that you've likely been dead for a good long while.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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