Downtown Los Angeles, circa 1983

Downtown Los Angeles, circa 1983
STMcC in downtown Los Angeles, circa 1983

Monday, January 8, 2018

LET YOUR WALLET DO THE WALKING THRU THE BLUE PAGES!

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THE BLUE PAGES: A Directory Of Companies
by Angie Crouse & The Center For Responsive Politics
published: 2010
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I’m going to begin this book review with a little story, and if you’ll just hang in there, you’ll eventually see how it relates to THE BLUE PAGES.
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Back in 1972, my Pa was the manager of The Machinists, a Little League baseball team whose star shortstop was my little Bro, Napoleon (a nickname). Early one morning -- on “Picture Day” no less, when every boy’s uniform should have looked neat and clean -- outfielder Graham (always a troublemaker) got sassy with Napoleon, and the boys did what boys sometimes will do. Graham was only about twice Napoleon’s size. But we’ve all heard the old adage, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the will and anger in Napoleon!”
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One of the boys told my Pa, “Hey! Mr. McCarthy! Graham and Napoleon are fighting in the outfield!” He saw the knot of boys cheering in the distance and he ran full-tilt to break it up. But as he drew nearer, he saw that Graham was getting quite a thrashing, and (as he loved to tell for years afterwards), he “slowed down to a jog and then a stroll.” Only a bad dad would unnecessarily spoil his son’s fun! We’ve all heard the expression about taking someone “out to the woodshed”. Well, on Picture Day 1972, Napoleon took Graham "out to right field".
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A year or two later, while we were both in junior high school, after an argument, that same Graham and I arranged an after-school meeting in a nearby alley, and as is always the case, news got out and there was an eager gathering of kids in that alley awaiting the two combatants. I can no longer recall the circumstances, but I’m sure Graham must have instigated the fracas because I never started a fight I didn’t start.
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Graham threw the first punch -- a right hook -- which I blocked and countered with my own right hook, introducing my right fist to his left ear. Graham threw the right a second time, I blocked it again, and again bopped him in the left ear. I guess my opponent was thinking, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” or maybe, “Third time’s a charm”, because he opted for the right hook yet again, and I countered as before. Graham was a slow learner, and whereas he was merely a half-wit when the fight began, he was undoubtedly a half-deaf half-wit when it ended. Which it did when an old man stuck his head over a fence Wilson-like from ‘Home Improvement’ and mentioned "calling the cops". Every kid ran in every direction! Ah, yes, beating up on Graham -- it was just a McCarthy Family Tradition.
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This past Christmas day, our Sister gave Napoleon THE BLUE PAGES as a gift. It was the biggest hit of the day. She gave me a coffee mug with the BILL OF RIGHTS printed on the side. When hot coffee is poured into it, your rights begin disappearing (i.e., as you “wake up” you notice how the federal government is stealing your rights! Clever idea.) But I couldn’t keep my hands off of Napoleon’s BLUE PAGES. How did I ever live without this book?
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This publication, THE BLUE PAGES, was compiled by a few Leftists and it intended to inform the Libs which of those big, bad companies are giving money to the Republicans, and you know, not honoring the civil liberties of their employees by failing to offer insurance coverage to their “alternative lifestyle partners”, etc. And conversely, which “good” companies should be supported because they support the indefensible and sundry Socialist agendas.
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But the great thing about this book is that it can be used as unintended. In other words, every time Graham threw his right, he dropped his left and lunged, opening himself up for a powwow (or maybe that should be pow!-ow!!) between my right fist and his left ear. In essence, I was using Graham’s punch against him, just like I’m now using THE BLUE PAGES to monetarily punish the very companies it was meant to assist.
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THE BLUE PAGES includes over 4,000 company entries from every consumer sector. It first notes the dollar amount given to the Democrat and/or Republican party by the top three executives for each company during the 2003-04 donation cycle (granted this is now dated and limited information, but it’s a start). Then there’s a small body of text that highlights the significant lawsuits resolved or pending, history of corporate fines, positive and/or negative ecological impact, the social / sexual / gender policies, and the insurance coverage offered by each company.
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I’ll say this for THE BLUE PAGES, although the astute and even just semi-astute reader will detect the “Left Lean”, it’s more balanced than one would anticipate from a Libby publication. It doesn’t shy away from spotlighting infractions against the Left-leaning companies like you might expect. This book really does seem fair enough to be used effectively by both Socialists (Democrats and Republicans), and true conservatives (me, myself, and I).
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I’m an “Independent” Constitutional Conservative, so I detest both the Democrats and the Republicans. But at least the Republican party says the right things even though it’s lying about what it intends to do. Both parties stand for global, totalitarian Socialism. But the Dems institute it quicker and I’d prefer to see our Republic die slower. For many years, I’ve been boycotting all goods from Communist countries and others with terrible human rights abuses (such as India and Indonesia). But now I can boycott the most immoral offenders in THIS country as well!
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THE BLUE PAGES is one of those books you’ll open to look up one thing and find yourself buried in for the next hour. It’s filled with interesting information such as:
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* Although PepsiCo gave nearly 70% of its monetary donations to the Republican party, it “received top scores from the Human Rights Campaign 2004 Corporate Equality Index for its pro-gay, -lesbian, -bisexual, and –transgender policies.” I wish I drank Pepsi so I could quit!
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* The Estee Lauder cosmetics company “earns high marks for its... longtime extension of health care benefits to its employees’ same-sex partners.” Well, I’ve been meaning to quit attending those midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show anyway.
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* With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good, right? They gave 99% of their dough to the Republicans, but a 2005 report found that their jams advertised as “100% Fruit” often contained less than 50% fruit. Oh well, at least they weren’t giving their money to the fruits.
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* Good news! I can start eating Ben & Jerry’s ice cream because it’s now owned by Unilever which gave only 11% of its money to the Dems. I’m gonna gorge myself on ice cream this year, gain 300 pounds and then sue Ben & Jerry for creating an addictive product that contributes to obesity and clogged arteries. (I mean, that’s how the liberals do it, isn’t it?)
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* Get this! Hooters of America paid two million bucks to settle a class action suit filed by men [sic] denied the opportunity to serve as “Hooters Girls.” Though it was ordered to create gender-neutral positions, the company still maintains that “being female is reasonably necessary” to be a Hooters Girl. Sounds “reasonable” to me. Now, THAT’S a hoot!
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I love this book! It ain’t perfect but it’s my favorite Christmas gift that I didn’t receive this year. I guess I won’t be eating at liberal Denny’s anymore, but then who wants a Grand Slam Breakfast when they can have a pint of “Cherry Garcia”?
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PERSONAL MESSAGE FOR GRAHAM: Hey, buddy, if you’re still out there somewhere (i.e., someone hasn’t beaten you six feet under yet), my Sister is lookin’ fer you. She says it’s her turn!
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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6 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. I would say 'poor Graham', but it sounds like he did this to himself. In my experience, the so-called tough guys think that toughness alone wins fights, which is why the only thing they've got is a wild right hook you can see coming a mile away, aka the haymaker. Block that, and suddenly they're without a weapon.

    My dad and his brother had a "Graham" in high school. This guy was picking on my Uncle Jim (my dad's younger brother), so my dad said hey, pick on someone your own size, and they fought after school. My dad knocked him out in two punches. The next day, my Uncle Jim marched up to the guy and said hey, I don't need my brother to fight my fights for me, I can take you on by myself. Fought him after school and knocked him out after a few slugs of his own.

    I'm pretty sure my dad's "Graham" retired his bullying career immediately after that quick 0-2 stint.

    As for the book, it reminds me of what Gavin McInnes says about the left, that we've gotten to the point that we're all saying the exact same things and just having different reactions. Example:

    "Can you believe that Donald Trump wants to deport illegal immigrants?" - left, sobbing while asking this, stunned
    "Can you believe that Donald Trump wants to deport illegal immigrants?" - right, fist pumping and thinking about damn time

    Same goes for companies.

    "Wow. I just watched a commercial for a soap company where all they did was talk about how women aren't paid as much as men and white men are the problem." - SJW, bewildered... because they're so happy and want to buy this right now
    "Wow. I just watched a commercial for a soap company where all they did was talk about how women aren't paid as much as men and white men are the problem." - me, bewildered... that a company would show something so stupid, never planning to buy from them again

    I think it's a common misconception that only leftists boycott companies and protest with their wallet. I bet you're definitely not the only one using The Blue Pages for its exact opposite intended purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An E-Ticket comment, TRAINYARD JULIO. Thanks!!

      I think everybody should have a "Graham". They're good for releasing pent-up frustration and anger.

      Most schoolyard bullies are really just all bluster and have trouble proving themselves when an "Opie" comes along and calls 'em out.

      ...And then later, in adulthood, the schoolyard bullies become cops. Law Enforcement is the only place in society where bullies are still accepted and even praised.

      I can bust the "Glass Ceiling" myth in 4 sentences:

      Since men -- especially White men -- are America's scapegoats, and Governmental Alphabet Agencies do not protect their rights; and since most corporate H.R. offices are staffed with women; and since women are paid less than men, why are men still employed anywhere? Think of the massive monetary savings all businesses would enjoy if they hired ONLY lesser-paid women! Why hire any men at all? Why-Pay-More?

      Indeed, it is a misconception that only Libtards boycott. Just ask the NFL (National Felons League) how their TV ratings fared this year. And wait'll they see how many ex-fans fail to renew their season tickets for 2018.

      I would type more here but my "Ben & Jerry'd" (fat) fingers are all tuckered out.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      Would You Like To... See 'It's A Wonderful Life' Come To Life?

      Delete
  2. Stephen,

    Your humor floors me! I just loved reading this post. You had me giggling all the way through. Hopefully, Graham has wised up since y'all high school years and if not then who knows what's become of him.

    I liked your idea about eating tons of Ben & Jerry's ice cream then sue 'em. That's precisely what the left would do.

    You're definitely right about Republican politicians saying the right thing but lyin' about what they do. Going down a slow sinking ship is better than it plunging to the depths all at once.

    I'm tickled to hear that Hooters didn't back down. I am not offended that Hooters use pretty, half-dressed women in their restaurants. I think women should be admired for their God given beauty and physique. I've never been to Hooters, mainly because of the menu but if I ever did go and find a man serving me then I'd be terribly put off. I think there are jobs where it's obviously women are better than men and vice versa. Who wants to be a token anything and why do women strive to be like men anyhow? I'm content with being a woman accepting my virtues and limitations. God made me purrfect! Too bad today's woman can't see this truth. Oops, I think I got off track here. Sorry about that! Anyhow, thanks for the good write up on the best Christmas present that you didn't get! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm with you on that, CATHY! Let those so-called "men" start their own restaurant chain and call it "MOOBERS".

    This may seem hard to believe, but I was in a Hooters only one time. And I only stopped in because it was "Phoenix Hot" in Phoenix and a cold beer sounded good. I had one, and that was the only money I ever spent on Hooters-- er... I mean, AT Hooters.

    Hey, thanks so much for the top-notch comment and compliment! I'm really glad you enjoyed the review. I usually tried to mix some humor with my political reviews. You know, in that spirit of "a spoonful of humor helps the medicine go down... the medicine go do-ooo-wn... medicine go down."

    Unfortunately for Graham, he had very long blonde hair. And I'm afraid that unless he got a haircut, he was destined to go through life as a male bimbo getting beaten up by short shortstops (and their brothers).

    ~ D-FensDogG
    Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stephen,

    You killed me with "...the only money I ever spent on Hooters..." Oh, you're a funny boy!! Boy, I re-read my comment to you and I screwed up on the spelling. I have a stupid headache and I'm blaming my errors on it. Yep, that's my story and I"m stickin' to it! Have a good evening, my friend. I will have a good one, as soon as this headache goes away! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CATHY, you'll be pleased as spiked punch to learn that I didn't even notice any misspellings in your previous comment. (I'm blaming it on my sobriety!)

      I hope the headache is gone by now. (I've found that the best thing for a headache is some "Hair Of The Dog". If there hasn't been any "Dog", then there's the problem right there!)

      ~ Stephen
      DogGtor of Alcohology &
      King Of Inebriation Nation

      Delete

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