MANE 'N TAIL Hair Conditioner
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Oddly enough, a lot of people seem to be of the belief that I was born on April 6th. (The fact that I put April 6th under “Birthdate” on my Profile Page may have played a small part in the confusion, but that’s just a guess.)
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In truth, I was born on the 8th of August (which sure beats the Ides of March as a birthdate!) This, of course, makes me a LEO THE LION. And when you are Leo The Lion, you are “The King Of The Jungle”, and people expect you to look like the top cat; you can’t exactly go out in public looking like a dog. And that’s why when I wash what’s left of my hair (which isn’t often and isn’t much) I use MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner exclusively (except for when I use another brand of conditioner).
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It is important that my mane is the cat’s meow when I cat around. Now in my 47th year, there’s a lot of competition from younger cats, and if I want to catch the eye of a lovely lioness, I simply must look my best. Any lion who would wash his mane ‘n fail to follow it up with MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner should be flogged within an inch of one of his nine lives with a cat-o’-nine-tails! There’s simply no excuse (other than laziness) for not taking the little extra time to put the exquisite finishing touch of MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner on your washing. Don’t you want to look like a real cool cat from mane to tail before showing off your latest dance moves in front of the ladies? Don't be a lazy lion!
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MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner will impart so much luster to your hair that it will make that other luster, Jimmy Carter, downright jealous! It works so well that you may have to shave your head and send your hair to Father Xavier Rojas for Confession.
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Split ends? MANE ‘N TAIL healed mine so well that I had to be fitted with a colostomy bag!
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If you want to continue with your cat and mouse game of running from one conditioner to another, you’re just wasting your time because all the hep cats know that quality hair products BEGIN ‘N END with MANE ‘N TAIL -– the first and last name in hair care. Any lion who says I’m lyin’ had better “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up! I can fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I can fight you standing on one foot.” (I have given it four stars instead of five only because my MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner doesn’t turn into a gazelle sandwich and a saucer of milk at midnight.)
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You can be sure that this cat needs all the help he can get, and after I’m done shampooing my mane, I always finish the job with MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner before leaving my lair and venturing into those Dens of Iniquity, chasing tail on a Saturday night. (Even though at my age, the tail I end up chasing is always my own.)
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Love your writing style, Stephen. ☺ I read one of your comments on diedre's blog where you claimed NOT to be a writer and heartily disagree! Adding this blog to my RSS feed reader. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteAhh, thanks SO MUCH for the wonderful compliment, DEBBIE! I really appreciate that. You made my (otherwise very rainy) day!
DeleteI actually do believe I can write, but because I gave up writing "real" things years ago (like screenplays, short stories, book manuscripts) and now the only thing I produce are blog bits, I don't really consider myself a legitimate writer.
But I love the nice, kind words. And if you're "Following", you should have plenty to read here because I will be posting new old reviews on a nearly daily basis for quite awhile.
~ D-FensDogG
'Loyal American Underground'
Sounds like you were a prolific writer, Stephen. To me, all writing qualifies, whether it's a limerick or a blog post (or a review). ☺ I will try to keep up, but may not get the chance to leave a comment every time.
DeleteThere once was a man from Nantucket
DeleteWho placed lots of corn in a bucket
But the farmer said, “Before you can truck it,
You’ll have to shuck it”.
So the man told the farmer to . . .
show him how it’s done ‘cause he ain’t never shucked no corn before.
The only other limerick I've written was about a former boss of mine, who was still my boss at the time of the writing. But it was dirty because I didn't like that brown-noser.
Well, thank you, DEBBIE. Just so long as we're clear that there is a $10 fee for every comment not left. :-) (C'mon, you can help out a starving writer!)
~ D-FensDogG
OK, here's my vote...this review by a country mile. The Detangler one is very clever and has a few LOL moments, but this one kept me giggling from start to finish. I see it's about 10 years old, and I for one believe you haven't lost your touch.
ReplyDeleteNITRO ~
DeleteYour vote on BOTR has been recorded for the Conditioner. (I hope this isn't a shutout. :-)
>>... I see it's about 10 years old, and I for one believe you haven't lost your touch.
No, but I've lost my hair... and my mind. (Hmmm... Maybe there's a connection. Do hair follicles collectively constitute the mind? I may have stumbled onto a great scientific discovery here!)
Thanks though. I'm pleased you liked it so much. Obviously I had too much time on my hands back then,
when I could write reviews
for products I didn't use.
~ D-FensDogG
I once read a witty refrain
ReplyDelete'Bout brudder dear cleaning his mane
He soaped up his mop
Cleaned up his top
But his tail musta soaked in the drain.
Dats my story and I'm sticking to it.
Ha!
DeleteBut where the heck is "Nantucket"? How can you write a limerick without "Nantucket"?
~ D-FensDogG
All my limericks eliminate Nantucket. That's how I roll.
DeleteALL of my limericks include Nantucket.
DeleteAnd that, my friend, is why I suck-at-it.
~ D-FensDogG