YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH A SICK MIND!

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16 MOST REQUESTED SONGS
by Johnny Mathis
released: 1986
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I usually tend exclusively to my own business -- I really do. I'm not in the habit of mingling in things that are none of my concern. But once in awhile a person encounters something so unjust or (in this case) so utterly stupid, that he is literally compelled to interject himself into the situation....
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It was close to two decades ago that I was sitting alone in a booth at a juice joint called THE SPEAKEASY on Pico Boulevard near 14th Street in Santa Monica, California. I was having a drink and reading a letter from a girlfriend when I heard this bellowing Blowhard surrounded by his uncouth cronies at the bar. "No Black man can sing!" he bellowed. "There has never been a really great Black male singer!" the Blowhard continued. I waited for someone with half an ounce of brains to enlighten the Good Ol' Boy, but his cronies just sat there mute, nodding their hollow heads.
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Blowhard bellowed his brainlessness too loudly yet again, and when even the bartender let it pass, I could restrain myself no longer. Now of course, I had many weapons in my arsenal. I could have whipped out Nat King Cole,or Sam Cooke. I could have pulled Greg Walker or Marvin Gaye or Jubilant Sykes or Ray Charles on him. But I thought: "Nah. Let's just go right to the jugular and immediately put this Village Idiot out of my misery". So, from my booth 35 feet away, I called out, "JOHNNY MATHIS!"
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There was a long, silent pause which must have seemed like a year to the Village Idiot while he frantically searched his empty head for some sort of answer to give this impertinent stranger. Finally he countered with, "Oh, he's a fag!"
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The point here is that even this Racist Retard was not stupid enough to deny that Johnny Mathis is a really great singer. To try and save face, he was reduced to changing the conditions of his premise. Suddenly we were looking for a really great "straight" Black singer. You just can't argue with a sick mind, can you?
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I'm not a fan of the crooners -- there are only 3 that I listen to regularly: Bobby Darin, the Yiddish-singing pop stylist Yoey O'Dogherty, and the incredibly gifted Johnny Mathis. 16 MOST REQUESTED SONGS is an excellent sampler containing most of his best-loved Pop hits, recorded at a time when his voice was still young and able to hit all of those gorgeous notes! Pay special attention to MARIA (far from being my favorite melody on this collection) -- there's a point at about 2 minutes and 20 seconds into the song where amidst the background singers you can hear Johnny's voice come in. It's so faint at first that you're not really sure you're hearing it, but then it powers through and over the other singers with just a single sustained note of PERFECT PURITY which subtly transforms into the name "Maria". Fabulous!!
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In terms of pure voice, I think Johnny Mathis stands alone. Add 16 MOST REQUESTED SONGS to your collection and you'll know what even the Redneck Maroons at THE SPEAKEASY know: Johnny Mathis was one heck of a singer!
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And with Christmas approaching, I also recommend his albums, MERRY CHRISTMAS and FOR CHRISTMAS. I've been hearing the first one every Christmas going back to when I believed in the Fat Man in Red. And the latter has his phenomenal last two notes on God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.
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All this reminds me of the time a few years back, when in a Phoenix restaurant, a man in the booth behind mine loudly told his companion that "No woman has ever written a great novel!" I had just opened my mouth, intending to mention Betty Smith's A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN, when I caught myself and thought, "Oh, forget it, Stephen! Besides, he's an Arizonan, and you know you have to make allowances for them."
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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